Well, well, well. It is mini intention time! I have a cold, baby has a cold and as miserable as it is- it is creating an opportunity to pause and notice. The moment I finally get him to sleep, I sneeze and start the process all over again- bouncing, shushing, pacing, snuggling until he melts into my arms. Numerous times the vision of life three months ago dawns on me- when I got sick I snuggled up on the couch with a movie and slept it off. The scrappyness I mentioned in my last blog post that accompanies motherhood, has never felt more true! My feelings and discomfort take the backseat and that super human strength surfaces, ensuring that this tiny being gets all of his needs met! This month for me is about letting go and leaning in.
I am committed to:
Releasing guilt- guilt that I'm not able to juggle it all. When really in essence what "all" is has just changed in my life. A person only has space for so much. In order to continue to do a quality job as new roles are added to a plate, other roles need to be cut back. There is no shame in that. It really is beautiful (and at times unsettling) how life evolves through many life cycle stages. Each stage is an opportunity to lean into those changes and allow myself to grow in ways I never predicted. I am not going to allow guilt to hold me back.
Acceptance- I am fully going to accept my new roles and life. A life where conversations are fragmented and happen in between soothing the baby. A life where I respond to emails in the middle of the night. A life where my back is constantly sore- not because I've been lifting or mastering a new yoga pose but rather because my little guy loves to be held and bounced, all the time! A life where a lot of my biggest laughs are rooted in a teeny tiny being. A life where gatherings with friends end at eight because all the kiddos must go to bed. A life where the day starts with baby snuggles versus an intense sweat session. A life where my new perfume is baby spit up. A life with little sleep yet so full of love!
Technology free zone! I am addicted to being busy and "productive." Slowing down is not my forte. I get to spend afternoons with a little bundle of love cuddled up to me. I don't need to respond to emails at that time. I can be present with my little guy. I am not going to distract myself with technology. Camden recently learned to make eye contact, giggle, smile and respond to the facial expressions I make. Everyday I sing Taylor Swift's "Never Grow Up" to him. He now smiles and sings AKA coos along as well! If I am looking at a computer or a phone, I miss out on fully engaging with him!
Embrace- this time with my little one is brief and already he is growing so quickly! I am fully embracing these moments, every snuggle, every giggle, every smile, every cry, every diaper change, every middle of the night feeding and every stroller walk. There are so many firsts and I want to be a part of as many of them as I can be!
More than ever I am embracing time with friends and family. I am finding the time together is very intentional. Conversations are meaningful, laughter comes from the belly, hugs are long, hard and sincere. I (nor a lot of my friends) can hop at every opportunity to be together, therefore we are being very intentional to carve that time out and really make the most of it!
Relearn to trust my body- during a run last week, it dawned on me that I don't currently trust my body. It went through a huge change in the last 11 months. I tried to push it last week- I ran, I did body weight circuits, I was so sore it was hard to walk let alone bounce my 15lb baby 15 hours a day :) my body is different, my capabilities have changed. I must keep hitting the trail, doing my push-ups, exploring and learning what my current body can do!
Expand Thrive Bend. As much as I love being home and being with my little dude- sessions with clients are such a profound root in my life! I love what I do professionally. I feel beyond lucky to get to connect with such inspiring humans on their journey to their best them! They make me want to be better. The time I get to spend with clients is so valuable it is worth leaving my little man at home. I can't think of a more true testament that demonstrates the significance and love I have for what I do! This practice lights my fire! I so am enjoying the process of further developing Thrive~ I believe in this work and am so passionate about it!
Life is the best it's ever been and the hardest it's ever been. I wake up, or should I say I'm awakened in the morning and I am spinning from soothing Camden a couple of times during the night. There are mornings where I wonder how my foggy brain and tired body will create a vibrant day. And then I do. Because I know it's possible from all of you!
This month I am going to be diligent at recognizing how I feel in this new life cycle stage, what parts of myself, pre this cycle am I going to be diligent about integrating, how to gracefully allow other elements to slip away and to fully lean into this new beautiful life!
Cheers to vibrant, full of life days!
** For the record, this blog post has taken me nine days to write! Yikes! Currently Camden is curled up in my arms snoring with an occasional snort! Melt my heart you little baby! Thank you for resting and allowing me the time to finally finish this post! Xoxo