Who out there has read Carry on Warrior The Power of Embracing your Messy Beautiful Life? If you have not, I recommend it! Such a delight- full or wisdom and humor. The essence of the book is what I appreciate most about it, not the specifics.
I admit, I am such a big fan of the authors- I now read her blog. Glennon, the author, who I now feel like I know personally, wrote a post about getting back into the routine and she wrote- “NEXT, I will go back to therapy LIKE A BOSS. I will work out all my STUFF until I am STUFFLESS and people will watch me go by and say: I wish I was THAT WELL ADJUSTED. I will smile adjustedly at them.”
Well stated, G! Why yes, we are strive to be well adjusted, yet find ourselves bound between seeking that acceptance and the fluidity of life. As a result, we feel as though we “should” be able to solve all our own problems to reach that place of being well adjusted.
Will we ever reach that place of being entirely stuffless? Sounds refreshing and not entirely realistic. I do believe we can find the most effective way to cope with the stuff though. Life happens. Positive things happen and inevitably negative things happen. To paraphrase Brene Brown’s wise words- we can’t selectively numb emotions. If we detach from selected emotions we disconnect from all emotions.
We all constantly need to be digging into our “stuff” to better understand ourselves, in order to smile from a place of feeling genuinely well adjusted. That doesn’t mean that 100% of the time we have it all together or are "stuffless"- it does mean that almost 100% of the time we are conscious and committed to be (or working to be) our very best us. Whatever that may be in that particular moment.
Embrace your stuff, good and bad- the messy and the beautiful. They are not mutually exclusive. Seek support, let yourself off the hook, drop the façade and wah la! Welcome to the land of well adjusted :)