I LOVE to celebrate! I love weddings, birthday, showers, life milestones, Tuesdays, having company, family reunions, holidays, sporting events, rituals. I could go on and on. Any excuse to celebrate, count me in! Not only count me in but let me spear head the organization and rally our tribe to give justice to the event! A trait I have no doubt I get from my mom.
For the last several years, I have begged my sister and Adam to let me have a birthday party for them. For my sisters 30th(don’t mind if I toot my own horn for a moment) I had an awesome party arranged. We were going to go to a place called Bouncing off the Walls. They set up obstacle courses for adults, we would have food, drinks, cake, lots of friends and as a results tons of laughter and a heck of a time. It would be a delight! My sister said no. Noooo party for her. Huh uh.
With Adam’s birthday approaching I thought- let’s have a party! What a great reason to celebrate! The start of a new year, blah blah blah. Nope, Adam doesn’t want a party. I have to say that a friend and I did plan a super fun surprise party for his 30th :) Sometimes the surprise element is needed!
Hmm… Well Adam and Sara said we are going to have a party for me. Eeck. Plot change! I found myself saying no, no, no, no party for me. I like to have them for others! Turns out, that is what they also like- Giving the party. So I accepted. If they want to have a party for me. Great! Another reason to celebrate! Plus, strategically I am hoping that they will then let me repay the favor and have one for them :) that’s neither here nor there though! I will embrace the party.
All this party talk got me wondering, what it is that celebrating represents for me? I’ve come to believe it’s a bridge. Gatherings and celebrations bind us to others. They allow us to be vulnerable and share with other people. We open our heart and world to other people to accompany us on this journey. Life can be hard. There are brutal realities that life does not give us a pause break to grieve, heal, whatever it is we need to do to tend to ourselves. When we form a tribe, a dynamic support system, we invite others into our world. Not just for the party but for the pitfalls. We need one another. We can not possibly do this journey alone and I certainly would not want to. We constantly need to remind ourselves to open up our hearts to others love.
Often times, we are reluctant to celebrate us, to include people in our journey. We often can support others, we will be there/show up for them, we will celebrate them, however struggle to let others in to be there for us. To drop our guard in times of trial or celebration and include loved ones. We prefer to be the caretakers. Not “air our dirty laundry.” In that process, we are limiting ourselves. We are missing opportunities to learn from others, face our fears, embrace our success and cherish each moment.
I am committed to not only celebrating others but celebrating me. I am committed to fully including my support system on my journey, however it may unfold!